What It’s Really Like To Parent With Bipolar Disorder


By Kimberly Zapata I’ve never liked the color white. It is bland, cold, sterile and is the backdrop for most bad memories. My father died in a windowless white room — in a white bed, covered in white sheets. My first apartment was white, and the unfinished walls were a stark reminder that this arrangement … Continue reading What It’s Really Like To Parent With Bipolar Disorder

The Reason I Take My Toddler To Therapy


By Kimberly Zapata “Mommy!” my daughter yelled. “Can I watch one more Octonauts?” I glanced at the clock above our oven; it was 7:47 AM. “Pleeeeeeeaassse?” “Oh sweetie, not right now,” I told her. “We have to finish getting ready.” “But why?” she huffed. It wasn’t long until she was whining in frustration. “Well, Mommy has a … Continue reading The Reason I Take My Toddler To Therapy

On Being a Parent With Suicidal Thoughts


By Kimberly Zapata It is just after 6 a.m. when the sunlight reaches my bedroom. It sneaks in — slipping between a thin, vertical crack in our curtains — and rouses me from my sleep. I take a long, deep breath: the warmth of the day fills my mouth, my throat, and my lungs. But when … Continue reading On Being a Parent With Suicidal Thoughts

Anxiety Makes It Hard For Me To Have Mom Friends


By Kimberly Zapata “Can we go the park, Mommy? I want to go to the park.” I look at the clock. It is 7:37 — 7:37 in the freakin’ morning — but the skies are clear, the weather is warm, the sun is up, and my coffee has been made. In fact, it is already cooling. … Continue reading Anxiety Makes It Hard For Me To Have Mom Friends

The Reason I Kept My Postpartum Depression A Secret


By Kimberly Zapata I knew I was struggling with postpartum depression when my daughter was just six weeks old. I was cried every day, and tossed and turned every night. I was nervous and anxious, and I was suicidal. But instead of talking to my husband or reaching out for help, I suffered in silence. … Continue reading The Reason I Kept My Postpartum Depression A Secret